Dear diary,
I’m seated at my desk waiting for yet another day to go by, another night to come and another night of mindless partying. It makes me feel better temporarily, but six or so beers later, and the pounding headache I’ll probably have in the morning make me think twice. They make me think twice but the reality is that I’m probably going to go ahead and do it anyway, regrets later. I’m pathetic.
I need to do something random and crazy like dance on a table top or make out with a stranger. Again, something that will probably make me feel like an idiot tomorrow.
One of my bestfriends is going thru a really tough time right now, and I don’t know how to help her. I try to advise her the best I can without sounding like a bitch, coz I honestly don’t understand why she can’t see how good she has it. She’s a wonderful person who used to be full of life, but she keeps getting disappointed over and over again, to a point where she doesn’t know who she is anymore, and frankly, neither do I. She’s hurting and I want to reach out, but I can’t. I don’t know if it’s my own selfishness, I know its not envy because I’m genuinely happy for her, I just can’t seem to make her see how special she is. I’m hoping it’s just a phase she’s going through, but I’m worried it’s not. Why can’t we be happy? Why is life so unfair? Why do so many children have dead beat fathers? Why are people shivering on the streets? Why, even with my recent fortune do I still feel as poor as a church mouse?
